Happiness is something that most people seek in the course of life, in a variety of ways. Many times, we associate our happiness with actions that aim at ourselves. A recent study by Titova and Sheldon (2021), however, comes to address the question: Do people eventually become happy when they pursue happiness for others?
“The surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others." - Martin Luther King Jr.
In this survey, conducted online, participants were asked to answer questions about "basic psychological needs - BPNS" and "subjective sense of wellbeing - SWB". Then, they were randomly assigned to either do something to make themselves happier or something that would make another person happier and at the end of the day they filled out questionnaires regarding their happiness and needs again.
The results, in general, showed that those who had done something to make another person feel better, were much happier than the rest, and their greater happiness was also associated with a stronger sense of connection to that person.
That is, it seems that giving to others can potentially make you happier than giving to yourself. One possible explanation the researcher gives for this fact is that when we aim to make others happier, we feel connected to them – meaning that our needs for connection are largely met; something very important to us.
Another conclusion reached by the researchers of the present internet research in an attempt to clarify the results, is that the level of happiness of the recipient of the "good deed" does not seem to be related to the increased happiness of the person trying to make him happy, suggesting that something is happening beyond the exchange of emotions between the two parties.
Another important parameter is that one does not need to know the person for whom he is doing this "good deed" for, nor does he have to have a lifelong connection with them. It works even if they are strangers.
These results extend the findings of previous research, showing that people derive enhanced personal happiness from trying to make other people happy - an approach that may seem contradictory to many people at first.
So, the next time you aren’t having such a good day, think about doing something good first; something that will please someone else!
Liudmila Titova & Kennon M. Sheldon (2021) Happiness comes from trying to make others feel good, rather than oneself, The Journal of Positive Psychology, 17:3, 341-355, DOI: 10.1080/17439760.2021.1897867